the fear of failure


The hardest part of life is realizing how simple it is.
Danial Graves

It's been over a week since I posted last and I don't have the motivation today to take photos of the outfits I've worn over the last week so I thought I'd do a little lifestyle post instead. If you read my last post you'd know that I had three friends come stay with me and we celebrated a hen for one of them.

We had a great extended weekend, we went to the Pirates Reloaded show which was full of amazing acrobatics, we went to the beach, we got dressed up as mermaids and headed to the 5th best club in the world, we chilled some more and ate good food, and on the last day we went to Marineworld to watch the dolphins.

So on the night of going to the big club, after a few drinks, we ended up getting onto the subject of life  - at which point I said that life is incredibly simple and we make it so complicated. By simple, I don't want it to be mistaken as "easy". Life certainly isn't easy.

Life is hard, it's out of our control and everything can be taken away from us in the blink of an eye. But once you accept this, it all becomes so much more simple. We don't have control over what might happen tomorrow, so why do we act like we do? We only have control over who we are and what we're doing right now.

When you stop fighting things and just live, breathe and try your best to treat people right, life just flows. It's that simple.
Dau Vouire

There are many obvious benefits of succeeding but also many benefits of failing. Knowing failure, real failure, can make us see what really matters. One of the greatest fears in this first world country is failing, yet when you fail, you are free because then you have little to fear. J.K. Rowling once said, "rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life." She admits she failed, she had nothing to her name, yet from that nothing she built something so amazing that people dream of being as successful as her.

Accepting that in one moment you can have the world given to you and also taken away from you no matter how much you've tried to stop it, leaves you free to focus on living the life you want, not living your life in according to your fear of failure. Fear can be a good motivator, but it's not something you should let rule you.

HOW TO MAKE YOUR LIFE SIMPLE

  • Forgive yourself for your mistakes
  • Accept that, sometimes, we all need help
  • Know that it's okay to not always be okay
  • Don't let other people's definitions of success control what you want to do
  • Be who you want to be, not what others want to see
  • Don't accept the safe choices just because others want you to
  • Don't let small minds convince you that your dreams are too big
  • Just because something is important to other people, doesn't mean it has to be for you
  • Learn to let go of what wasn't meant to be
  • If you're not good enough today, it means you can be better tomorrow
  • If things were any different or if you were someone else, you wouldn't have what you have today
  • Focus on the things you can control, not on those that you can't 
  • Tough times will make you stronger, always remember that
  • Spend time with the right people, not those that bring you down
  • Care and attend to other people's problems, but don't let them consume you
  •  Things are not perfect, people aren't perfect, you aren't perfect 
  • Take time to step outside of yourself and see the bigger picture
  • Money, jobs, houses, possessions that can be gained, can also be lost, and when you lose them they can be gained back -- friends, family, experiences are only here in the now
  • Don't live in excess, make sure the things that you have bring you joy
  • Accept that you can't do everything and that you need to prioritise what's truly important to you
  • Prioritising can involve making big sacrifices, some that might mean putting others above yourself - do it, because those people mean a lot and the decision is simple, hard but simple
  • Do less and take the time to just be, you don't always have to be busy
  • Slow down and live in the moment rather than focusing on what's next
  • Know that you will pick yourself up no matter how far you fall

I know life is hard and I've seen people close to me hit rock bottom and struggle to find their way back, but most of the time they've struggled because they've let their failure consume them rather than strengthen them. Feeling like a failure can lead you down some dark paths, and in no way am I saying it's easy to climb back out.

Success is not final, failure is not fatel; it is the courage to continue that counts
Winston Churchill

It's scary to think of having nothing. Of hitting rock bottom. The way I see it is, we can't live life trying to avoid failure because it can happen to us no matter what we do. They say a good job will equal success, but jobs can be taken away from you. They say being a stay at home parent or trying to follow a pipe dream will lead you to being left with nothing, but you can also get everything you've ever wanted. We just don't know so let's stop pretending that we do. 

All we know is right now. And if you right now want to quit your job and start something new from scratch or if you want to put everything on the line for that career you really want, try not to let the fear of falling stop you. Don't make life much more complicated than it really is by second guessing every bit of it.

Charlotte xx

19 comments:

  1. I love this so much! I agree with everything you say and found myself mentally shouting 'preach it girl!' throughout. Life isn't easy, you are right, but people tend to make it a lot more complicated than it has to be. I love the line 'They've struggled because they have let their failure consume them, rather than strengthen them' I think that goes for failure, but also hardships and struggles in general.



    Hayley-Eszti | www.hayleyeszti.com

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    Replies
    1. very true, applies to hardships and stuggles in general! thanks doll glad you liked my post :D your comment means a lot x

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  2. *clap clap clap* I loved this so much!! And you're 100% right!!!! I even screenshot that list so I can read it from time to time... Hahah x)

    Thank you so much for writing this!!!

    Dorky-and-weird.blogspot.com

    Xoxo Jessy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. aw thanks so much Jessy, so happy you liked this post! Yes on days when I'm struggling I do come back and look at this :D

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  3. Not fighting can make life pretty boring, but I know what you mean.

    / Avy
    http://MyMotherFuckedMickJagger.blogspot.com



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think this post is about making life more boring, more about being free to do what you want to do :) when we make life complicated - that can get boring! If you let other peoples ideas of what we should do / what success is / what failure is affect you too much then you can end up to scared to live your own life

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  4. I loved this post! I've just finished uni and I have no idea what I'm going to do next so this was a great post to read :)

    Caz | thisiscaz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. glad you liked the post! I'm sure you will find your way - and it's easier to do that when you give yourself some slack, lots of people struggle to find out what the want to do after uni :)

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  5. I love the first quote you have! A very inspiring post you have and don't be afraid to make mistakes through life either. Sometimes it's the only way we learn to become even stronger!

    stephlui.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. exactly, the fear of failure and the fear of making mistakes comes hand in hand in my books :) thank you, glad you liked this post

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  6. Such a lovely post. I think we all put so much pressure on ourselves to be "perfect" when all we really need to do is be ourselves! x

    www.dizzymisselizabeth.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. very true! glad you enjoyed the post :)

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  7. This was a great post :)

    Meme xx

    New Post:
    'I Quit Sugar For Life Recipe Book//GIVEAWAY'
    http://thedayinthelifeofmexoxo.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
  8. Love this post so much!! Thanks for sharing!!
    Xoxo

    http://www.sweetsimpleday.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. This is such a great post! And so true! Life doesn't have to be so complicated and we don't have to let failure consume us.

    http://trendscommentstyle.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks beautiful, glad you liked it :)

      Delete

 

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